install
  1. animalstalkinginallcaps:

    SHARON? SORRY TO BOTHER YOU. I WAS JUST UPDATING MY PROFILE INFORMATION ON ALL MY DATING WEBSITES AND I NEED YOUR HELP.

    AM I “CURVY”, “VOLUPTUOUS”, “FULL FIGURED”, OR “BIG AND BEAUTIFUL”?

    IF THOSE DON’T APPLY, DO I HAVE “A FEW EXTRA POUNDS” OR “MORE TO LOVE”?

    THIS IS REALLY HARD FOR ME BECAUSE I JUST WANT TO MEET A NICE FAT GUY.

  2. dailybunny:

    Thanks, Jakub!

  3. stellaphant:

    *.* beautiful, beautiful owl

    By Seth Fitts http://www.sethfitts.com/

    (via wiseowls)

  4. animalstalkinginallcaps:

    HAVE YOU BEEN KEEPING THAT JELLY IN THE FREEZER? KIND OF DEFEATS THE PURPOSE OF HAVING A LIGHT AND TENDER TOUCH, IF YOU ASK ME.

    WHOEVER INVENTED PROSTATE EXAMS IS AN ASSHOLE.

    … THERE’S A JOKE IN THERE SOMEWHERE.

    I COULD PROBABLY THINK OF IT IF I WASN’T TOO BUSY CRYING INSIDE.

  5. (via dieskae)

  6. crappywaccoon:

    how i look after a cinnabon.